Check Your Pockets

Payday was Friday, but here it was Tuesday and I had all of two bucks in loose change to my name.  I had checks in the checkbook but in balancing that night, I found I missed recording a $25 transaction.  A fifty-buck shortage, less than ½ a tank of gas and needing at least $5 worth to get me to work for the rest of the week, I decided to get creative.  Sometimes I work out many problems through cooking.  I wandered into the small, galley style kitchen to check supplies.

I had one slightly mushy and sprouting potato, a ¼ bag of dried pintos, 2 eggs, and a small jar of peanut butter in the pantry.  ‘Who are you kidding?  You couldn’t buy groceries last week, remember?’  Nothing worth mixing into some scrumptious creation, I plopped down at the table to think through what I could do beyond some beans and fried taters for a meal.  Okay, cook up the eggs for tonight and put the beans in water to soak for tomorrow's supper.  Eat peanut butter from a spoon for lunch over the next few days.  Though not optimal, at least I now had a plan.

Maybe I should swallow my pride for a meal.  Perhaps call on some family for a loan to get me through the week.  Too stubborn to give in and admit I needed help, I rapidly shook off that notion thinking 'there has to be a way to manage this without being the poor relation.'  Hungry, embarrassed at being broke, and scared, I sat down in the floor, crying while rocking back and forth.

This little ‘woe-is-me’ tantrum lasted for a bit until I realized I forgot to send out invitations to the party.  Time to quit sniveling and figure out a plan for transportation, I dried my eyes and pulled in the sobs to quiet tears as I searched for a solution.  I could call a friend who worked nearby.  Maybe get rides with him promising to give him gas money or take him to dinner on Friday.  Okay, not a close friend and he would read into that request more than I intended, but it might be my only option.  As my mind spun in dark directions I thought, ‘I’ll handle it if I have to.’

Still crying but knowing I required more than a good blow to clear my head, a nippy fall evening beckoned me for a walk.  “Lord, please, just help me get through this week,” I muttered.  I grabbed a jacket I had not worn in months, locked up the apartment, and stepped into the hall.  Realizing I needed to grab a tissue for those leaky eyes and runny nose, I went back inside.  When I stuffed them in my jacket pocket, I felt a piece of paper crinkle against the softness of the tissues.  Curious I pulled it out.

Again, I collapsed in the floor with a flood of tears.  Surprise and joy blossomed as I unfolded a twenty-dollar bill.  “Thank You Lord,” I cried out repeatedly as I laughed hysterically.  Anyone walking down the hall would have thought I lost my mind but frankly, I cared not one bit for what might go through the minds of neighbors.  I could eat and get to work for the rest of the week!

Most of us have been in a similar spot at some point in time.  When we realize we have too much week remaining for the money in our pockets.  Being prideful folk, we shy away from asking for help, perhaps robbing someone at the opportunity of a blessing.  We determine we will manage on our own or just wallow around in sorrow for a while.  We rant and rail at fates, blame ourselves, or others, for our situation.  We fall into the trap of thinking we deserve nothing better.  We fail to remember we should not worry; we should simply ask, for He will take care of our needs.

“Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive.”  Matthew 21:22